This is not a post about losing weight. It’s time for a gut check. Something happened in my life yesterday that hit me HARD and I know I can’t be the only one. You see, I worked so hard to become who I am today but sometimes the old me creeps back in and I don’t even realize it.
Friends and family have been trying to tell me but sometimes it takes a total stranger to really wake you up.
With all of my health stuff lately I have a new bff named Lynn. She’s my Cigna rep and calls me to make sure I’m making my follow up appointments (doing that today I promise!) and making sure insurance is covering all of my procedures properly (🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼).
Yesterday she asked because of the intensity of what’s been going on if it was okay to ask me a few personal questions. Like I said, we’re basically bff now 😂 so I said sure.
“Do you think (in the last two weeks) you’re letting people down or a burden on peoples lives - never, some days, more than half the days, or always.”
Insert meltdown here. Holy deja vu. The last time I got asked that question was my intake interview for my inpatient hospital for depression as a teen.
The girl on the left would have answered always. A month ago, the girl on the right would have answered never. Yesterday, I had no words, just a gut feeling that I need to make a mindset change and FAST. For my family, for my friends, for my relationship, but most importantly for ME.
I’m committing to a 7 day beginner meditation practice (its free!) and I’d love for you to join me! Who knows, it might be exactly what your season of life needs right now and you didn’t even know it! Worst case? In 10 days, you’re slightly more relaxed and best case? In 10 days you’ve made massive progress on the journey to love yourself FULLY where you’re at RIGHT NOW and drop the bad habit of comparison (literally the thief of ALL joy and cause of 99% of our anxieties).
Who’s with me? Click here to join!
Day One - All You Do Is Breathe
Day one (I'm using the free app Insight Timer and using their free 7 day beginner challenge) is an eleven minute guided sequence, focused on the basics of just breathing. Sounds simple right? Not so much. Meditation has so many health benefits - reduced stress, anxiety management, aids with chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and lessens depressive symptoms to name a few - so why haven't I tried it before? Like for more than just 30 seconds before giving up? Fear. My mind races, I can't sit still, I don't really want to know the craziness going on in my head. But here's the thing, as much as I hate admitting this, those are the EXACT REASONS I need meditation in my life. Hard things are never comfortable but it's getting outside of our comfort zones where our lives change for the better. So here goes nothing!
Today so many thoughts came up during the breathing exercise. I wanted to stop. Many times. My mind wandered literally EVERYWHERE. Seriously to the most random places. I was very fidgety - like I couldn't stop finding something to scratch, yawning and cracking my knuckles. Not very zen like I know. I felt pretty distracted the entire time if I'm being honest. But you know what? I DID IT. I did the whole 11 minutes even though it felt like 40 and I'm PROUD of that. We have to start somewhere right? During this next week I will be consciously focusing on at least one win from each session to keep my motivation going and stay committed. Today's win? I finished. I started and saw it all the way through and completed it. Now on to day two!!!